Match: A Thanksgiving one shot
by savannavansmutsmut
Summary: Last years Count Down to Thanksgiving one shot. Edward goes home for Thanksgiving. He meets Emmett's girlfriend and wonders why his brother would date someone who is completely opposite his type. He knows it isn't going to end well for them and wants to be the one to comfort Bella when Emmett breaks her heart. He knows they're not a match.


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**Title: Match**

**Disclaimer**: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyers

**Rated:** M for language, lemon, and adult situations.

**Summary:** Edward goes home for Thanksgiving. He meets Emmett's girlfriend and wonders why his brother would date someone who is completely opposite his type. He knows it isn't going to end well for them and wants to be the one to comfort Bella when Emmett breaks her heart.

**Match**

Thanksgiving, like most family holidays, was a trying time. I loved my family. I truly did. The thing was I loved them best from afar. Being away from their everyday crazy behavior made life so much more pleasant, but it also forced me to commit to holidays. My family didn't see me any other time of year. Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter were pretty much it, and if they were lucky, I'd tolerate them through New Years. They weren't so bad drunk. It was for that reason alone I volunteered to bring the drinks to our family dinner. They consisted of several hard liquors for mixed drinks, and to keep it informal like everyone insisted, I added a couple of boxes of wine. We were all family, and it was required to let our hair down, though with my hair, that was difficult, because it only stood on end.

My oldest brother, Emmett, was bringing a new girl to dinner. She apparently was "the one." Mom loved her and said she was a very talented chef. That was probably why Emmett was so attracted to her. Food was literally the way to his heart. I was surprised, though, when I saw the girl for the first time. She was short, a little more rounded than his usual girl, and had wavy dark chestnut hair, warm dark eye and a beautiful smile. Emmett always went for tall, thin, blue-eyed blondes. This girl, Bella, just didn't fit the bill. My uncle's new young bride, Rosalie, was more Emmett's type. Rosalie didn't say much to anyone. She came to Thanksgiving dinner, plastering a fake smile on her face, and contributed a salad to the meal. She didn't bring dressing for it, either, just a bottle of lemon juice to spray on the leaves. Emmett blanched at it, along with everyone else, but we all politely hid our disappointment in her "dressing choice."

"Her salad looks like it could be good, if it had bacon and a good ranch dressing," Emmett suggested.

Bella gave him a mischievous grin and quickly made homemade bacon pieces and ranch dressing. She politely put it on the side, next to a vegetable platter, hiding the fact she had made it to save Rosalie's ill-fated salad. Emmett patted Bella's backside and followed her into the kitchen, where he swiped a mouthful of Bella's stuffing. "Can you baste the turkey?" she asked him.

He scrunched up his nose. He loved eating food, not making it.

"I've got it." I was happy to step in. I wanted to get to know her better.

She handed me a bowl of melted butter filled with seasonings. I basted the turkey, salivating at the aroma, not leaving when I was done. My mother came home from the neighbor's house. Mr. Volturi didn't cook and was invited to dinner in exchange for letting my mother use his oven for the pies and rolls. It was no secret he had a crush on her. He'd give her a kidney if she asked for it. My father didn't seem to mind his infatuation. He was very secure in his relationship with my mom.

I knew that was something I wanted. They were good together, they just fit. It was easy to see they belonged together. It was also easy to see that Rosalie and my Uncle Mike didn't fit together, and as much as I wanted things to work out for my brother, so I could see Bella more, I had a hunch they wouldn't. There was more to a relationship than food. I was really going to miss her…food, yeah, food.

"Can you man the gravy for me?" Bella asked me sweetly. She made you want to hug her and tuck her into your side. I was tempted to do just that, then kiss her head and tell her she was wonderful, but I kept my hands to myself, not wanting to cross the boundary and offend my brother.

I was disappointed when my mother took over stirring the gravy and sent me out to set up the party table with Emmett. I frowned, when I saw him standing awfully close to Rosalie. They were talking quietly. She giggled a little too much. My uncle didn't seem to notice…or care if he did. He was busy checking out the wife of my brother, Jasper. She was six months pregnant, and Jasper swore she glowed. She seemed happy. I think it was Jasper who glowed. He was beaming, excited with the prospect of being a father.

It made me a little jealous. I wanted what he had. Theirs was another marriage I could see lasting. He adored Alice, and she fawned over him like he hung the moon. Their sweet talk was almost sickening.

"Can you finish putting up the chairs?" Emmett asked me, barely taking his eyes off Rosalie. I was thankful Bella was in the kitchen, away from his rude behavior.

"I'll give you a hand," my father stepped in. He glared at Emmett, but let him run off with Rosalie.

"You should've made him stay and help. I don't like them taking off like that together," I sneered in their direction.

My dad patted my shoulder. "It's best Bella see the fault in their relationship, before she gets in too deep. She's a sweetheart of a girl, and you wouldn't want her to marry that bastard. I love Emmett, but he has a bag of rocks for brains. Rosalie is a gold-digger. She's only with Mike for his money, and once she finds out Emmett has more, she'll switch to him."

"Why don't you step in, if you know what's going on?" My father was being ridiculous. I couldn't understand why he just stood back and let the train wreck happen.

"It doesn't matter what I say. Whoever I talk to will feel betrayed by me and think me unsupportive of their choice. Standing back leaves me open to help and comfort them when everything comes to light. Your mother taught me that. You should know by now to never question your mother. Besides, haven't you heard the saying, 'Don't kill the messenger?' People say that, because they feel compelled to kill the guy who brought the bad news. You don't want to die, do you?" I was pretty sure my dad was trying to joke with me to cheer me up.

My mother had yet to give me bad advice. She seemed to know everything, but I always chocked it up to her having that mom voodoo instinct.

When we came in the back door, we heard grunting and moaning coming from laundry room. It made me sick to my stomach. I knew exactly what was going on. My dad whispered something in my mother's ear, and she nodded her head at him with a grim look on her face.

"Michael, would you mind giving me a hand?" my mother called to my uncle. He came into the kitchen, ready to help, hoping to sneak a bite of something. My mother had mercy on him and snuck him a buttered roll.

"What do you need, Esme?" he asked with enthusiasm.

"I'm running short on potholders. There's a stack in the laundry room. Would you mind fetching them? The food is hot and ready. We need to get it on the table before it cools."

"I'm on it," he rushed out, and my mother took a deep breath and closed her eye, like she was bracing for something.

We could tell when he opened the door. Rosalie's voice was loud and clear, "Oh, my God!"

Her exclamation didn't give anything away. Her voice became muffled again, and I looked over at Bella to see if she had figured out what was going on. She was busy basting the bird again; completely oblivious to what was happening in the other room. I was sure the sweet, trusting woman didn't even consider something like this happening.

My father and I shared a confused look, when we didn't hear any response from Uncle Mike. I was sure my father worried Mike might've been so quiet, because he'd had a heart attack at the sight of his wife banging his nephew. The guy wasn't exactly young anymore. I didn't know how the golden rolls kept my mother's focus. She just continued to put butter on them.

My father and I snuck out of the kitchen and down the hall where the laundry room was. The muffled screwing became clearer the closer we got to the door.

"Watch me get you good," we heard Emmett order.

"Yes," Rosalie panted out and went back to moaning. We heard some rhythmic thumping and Emmett grunting. I wasn't really surprised when we heard some slapping and Emmett exclaim she was a bad girl. I had to agree with him. Rosalie was a very bad girl.

"Where the hell is Michael?" my dad whispered. We had no idea where he had slipped off to.

"They can't get away with this," I hissed at my father. There was no way I would stand by and let my brother get away with hurting Bella.

Bella suddenly appeared in the hallway, "What are you guys doing? Esme sent Mike to get potholders, but he never came back."

"Harder!" Rosalie cried out.

Bella surprised me and my dad by bursting into giggles. "Oh, heavens, I can't believe they're doing it in the laundry room." We looked at her confused, but she didn't seem to notice. "I'd like to have a relationship like that some day. It's sweet that they can't keep their hands off each other."

Again, I wondered where the hell Mike was. He needed to make an appearance and show Bella that it wasn't him in the laundry room screwing his wife.

There was heavy deep grunting from Emmett, but it gave nothing away.

"You guys shouldn't be listening to this. You're such perverts," she teased. She didn't seem offended by our eavesdropping, just amused. I could only guess that she'd be into dirty talking. That was kind of hot.

"I…ah…" I had nothing.

"We…um…" my father tried, and failed as well to explain why we were hanging out in the hallway listening to the porn soundtrack.

My mother finally popped her head into the crowded hallway. My dad and I let out a sigh of relief. I was sure she'd know how to handle it. "Where's Mike? I sent him to get the potholders ten minutes ago. The food's getting cold."

Rosalie's cries were getting louder. The thumping was steady and much faster now. My mother's eyes widened. "Is he doing that in my house?" she sounded offended. "I can't believe he'd…" she stopped and glared at my father. "Did you tell him about…?"

"Whoa, whoa, hey now, I don't need to hear about what my parents do in the laundry room," I stopped her before she could scar me for life.

Bella was back to snickering, amused by our exchange. I shook my head, not looking forward to what she'd surely learn in the next few minutes. "We should leave them be. The pots have cooled enough. We don't need to use the potholders anymore," Bella whispered.

Rosalie let out a loud scream, and there was a satisfied grunt. It was obvious that they had finished. Bella was moments away from getting her heart ripped out. Another loud slap made it evident that Rosalie liked to be spanked. Of course, that was followed by a shriek. "Oh, my god, I can't believe you were watching!"

"You're my wife. I love watching you get off," Mike sounded like he really didn't care that Emmett was screwing his wife.

Bella's brow furrowed. She stepped away from the door. "Has anyone seen Emmett?" she asked nervously. She was finally putting the pieces together.

"You're a sick man, Michael Cullen. There's no way I'm staying married to you. We weren't giving you a private porn show!" Rosalie sounded pissed, even though she had no right to be.

"That's okay, doll. We have a pre-nuptial agreement. You were right, though. You did give me quite a show. I recorded the whole thing on my phone," he chuckled oddly amused.

"Oh shit, I'll pay you not to show that to Bella." If there was any question in Bella's mind, it was gone now.

Tears streamed down her anguish-contorted face. Then she turned and ran. I was quick to catch her.

"Let go of me. Please, just let me go," she begged.

I picked her up and carried her into my childhood bedroom, not listening to her. I shut the door and locked it.

"Why are you…?"

"He doesn't deserve you. He's a selfish bastard, and you're lucky to find that out before things went too far between you two."

She shook her head, and I had a feeling she didn't believe me.

"You're amazing, Bella. I don't know why my brother was so stupid. If you were my girl, there'd be no way I'd ever do anything to jeopardize what we'd have. You're the whole package. You're beautiful, sweet, kind and Lord have mercy you can cook!" It was obvious she didn't think what I said was true. "Please, tell me you're not going to let what he did get to you. You're the perfect woman, and he's not good enough for you. I was so jealous of him when I set eyes on you. You're not a shallow bitch like Rosalie. You're not his match. You're the kind of girl a guy marries and has a family with. I hope our kids aren't too big. I don't think your sexy tiny body could handle big babies, but there are always C-sections. A little girl with your curls and deep brown eyes…"

"Edward, what the hell are you going on about?"

I stopped and recalled the last few words I had said and smacked myself in the face. "I can't believe I said that last bit out loud. Can you erase the last few sentences and just remember up to the point where you're the kind of girl a guy would marry?"

"Oh, my god, your family is insane!"

"I know. That's why I live five hours away. It's so much easier to love them when I'm not around them. My parents are nice, if not a little overbearing. Jasper and Alice are alright, when they're not eating each other's faces off or fighting over stupid things like the color of the wall paint. That was a mess last Easter. Then my mom went ballistic when she found Emmett snorting pixie sticks in his old bedroom. He's so gross sometimes. What the heck did you see in him? I know it wasn't his money. You're definitely not the gold-digging type. He's an asshole. How'd he convince an amazing girl like you to date him in the first place?" I was hoping to find the secret that would help me win over Bella.

"He came into my restaurant every day and said I should be worshiped like a goddess, because of my gift in the kitchen."

"I totally agree with the goddess thing."

She threw me off guard when she asked, "What would your family say about you?"

"What?" I didn't understand her question.

"You told me about what your family did your last holiday together. I'd like to hear about your behavior."

I pulled out my desk chair and sat down, worried if I told her the truth, she'd run from me. I was terrible at lying, though. I'd never been able to pull it off, I twitched too much. I had to go with the truth. "I stared a lot." She looked worried. "It's not what you think. My parents are happy. They've been married for nearly thirty years, and they're still happy. I don't know why. I haven't figured out the magic formula, but I think Alice and Jasper have it, too. You saw how happy they were. Don't you want something like that?" I hoped I didn't come across looking like a freak.

"So you sit around watching people, because you want to be married and have babies?"

I blushed. "A family would be nice."

"A little girl with curls and dark eyes?"

I gave her a timid smile. "We'd date, you know, coffee and talking first, then have dinners together. You'd have to pick the restaurants, because I wouldn't want to disappoint you. Then we'd get lost in mushy talk, and I'd do my best not to punch guys that ogled you in the throat."

She laughed. "I don't think I'm ogled."

"I don't believe that. You have a great rack." I slapped my hands over my mouth, my eyes wide and worried.

She tipped her head to the side, like she was trying to figure me out.

There was a knock on my door. "The coast is clear. The sick idiots have been kicked out, Mr. Volturi is here and hungry and dinner is still warm. Bella, we'd like it very much if you'd stay to eat with us." My mother was awesome. I wondered if she knew I liked Bella.

I opened the door; sure my mother would be able to further convince Bella to stay.

"I'm glad Edward finally got up the nerve to talk to you. I thought his eyes would fall out of his head. He hasn't been able to take them off of you since you arrived."

Bella looked at me curiously, and I reached my hand out to her, hoping she'd take it. My heart flipped when she did. "So, you know, coffee, with me, not now, though, 'cause we're eating, but tomorrow maybe, please?" I wasn't above begging.

She smiled. "Yeah, I think that sounds nice."

I suppressed my giddy giggle, but I had a feeling everyone knew how I felt. I was feeling great, and I knew as long as I had Bella at my side, my life would turn out to be amazing. Bella wasn't Emmett's match, she was mine.


End file.
